Freya
by happy-rea
Summary: Arthur finds a letter for him that explains why his servant was acting in an odd was a couple of days ago.  Put up for AlbusProngsRebeccaPotter - who requested this story to be added


Merlin had been working on automatic the past few days and the crown prince was getting worried. While his friend was cleaning his chambers he went to Merlin's and found to his shock a letter addressed to himself in Merlin's bin.

_Arthur_.

The prince picked it up and with it in his hands walked back to his room, he sent Merlin to the stables to clean out his horse while he read it.

_Arthur,_

_Sorry, you _**are**_ my friend, but Freya. Freya is something completely different, I've only known her a few days and I cannot imagine leaving her side. I love her and I promised to protect her._

_It is for that reason I've left, we're going somewhere she can be safe and where no one will recognise either of us._

_I'll come and visit, I promise_

_Your friend_

_Merlin._

Suddenly it made sense to Arthur, Merlin had been so happy recently and then he just deflated. He had thought it was because of the way he had been acting but Merlin had finally found someone and it looked like she had gone and left him behind.

He sat on his bed and thought a bit more. Freya – he was sure he knew that name. Then it hit him, Freya was the cursed druid girl.

He would have to talk to Merlin.

It was at this point said warlock walked into the room. "Anything else you want me to do sire?"

"Yes, sit down next to me on my bed" Merlin did so and Arthur gently spoke. "I found the letter Merlin."

The manservant looked at him confused and the prince lifted the parchment in his hand, "Oh" said Merlin.

"Freya was the cursed druid?" The younger man nodded, and the other continued "It wouldn't have worked, she would have attacked you the night you left. Where is she now?"

"Dead" Merlin croaked, "your blade"

"You were there?"

"Yeah"

"Merlin she would have killed you." Arthur pointed out

"No" Merlin shouted jumping off the bed "Stop saying that, she didn't attack me. I followed her and she allowed me to pet her. She knew who I was and the monster was never going to attack me. We would have been fine."

"Merlin…" Arthur tried again "She wasn't safe"

"You killed her Arthur, I was completely ready to leave with her and when I did it was to take her to a lake because I didn't want her to die here. She died in my arms Arthur, Gaius keeps going on about how he knows how I feel. But that's not true, no one knows how I feel. Not even your father. He had ages with you mother, I had a week. A measly sodding week."

"Exactly Merlin you can't have fallen in love in a single week." Arthur pointed out, foolishly as it happened.

"Arthur I fell in love after a few minutes, she was determined that she wasn't worth anything. That was when I promised I would protect her. And what happened a week later? My best friend stabbed a sword into her side."

"Merlin..."

It was at this point Merlin broke down spectacularly, "I just want her back Arthur,"

Arthur grabbed the young magic user and pulled him into a tight hug, "I know Merlin, you always will – but life moves on." They stayed like that for a few minutes before Arthur spoke again, "What did you do with her body?"

"I put it in a boat, set fire to it and pushed it out into a lake. We were going to try and find somewhere with flowers, a few fields, a couple of cows, mountains and a lake. Just like our old homes. And then you ripped that from us."

"I am sorry Merlin, but she was a threat to Camelot."

"If you'd waited one more night we would have been gone."

"You can't know that for certain" Arthur pointed out

"I can. If I'd known I would have spent the night with her, then she wouldn't have attacked anyone. In a way it's my fault anyone was hurt because I didn't do that."

"Merlin…"

"Why can't everything just be simple, why can't I have stayed with her, after everything I've done and am supposed to do. Why can't I have her?"

"You have me."

"Her murderer, brilliant."

Arthur's face fell, "If you don't want to stay you can go. I wont stop you."

"Sorry" Merlin apologised, "I didn't mean it like that, it will just take time. I'll never forget her though, I understand why you did it. It just hurts."

"I know"

"No you don't. Yeah you like Gwen and she likes Lancelot _and_ you, but she's still alive. You see her everyday. And if being with Lancelot made her happy would you still want her with you?"

"No, your right" Arthur admitted, Merlin smiled, it was the first time that Arthur had admitted that he was right but he didn't mention it.

"Exactly, you may not be with the one you love but she's alive. You can see her smiling face, I just have memories, and in that one week I spent ages being your servant we just had the bits in between." The warlock stopped and the prince came to a decision.

"Saddle the horses."

"Why?"

"We're going to the lake, and you're going to sit with me at the bank and tell me all about her."

"Really?" Merlin looked at the prince hope shining in his eyes,

"Yeah. Come on I'll help you saddle them. Even though it's a servant's job."

"Thanks Arthur." Merlin said not knowing what else he could say

"No problem, what are friends for?"

(*_*) (*_*) (*_*) (*_*) (*_*) (*_*)

They galloped to the lake and when they were there Arthur could see a fire still going.

"Is that her body?"

Merlin nodded not wanting to say anything, he sat down on the bank and just stared out at the boat.

Arthur sat down next to him, and didn't say anything either, for which Merlin was grateful.

"She kept thinking she wasn't worth anything. After I rescued her, the next morning I went to give her some food and I found her crying. She had managed to persuade herself that I wasn't going to come. That I didn't really care for her."

"Did you give her my food?" Arthur asked Merlin nodded and looked out at the floating pyre.

"I never felt with her that I had to hide who I was. With her I was just Merlin, no one else and she didn't want me to be."

"I just want you to be Merlin." Arthur said before thinking, that wasn't strictly true, he hardly ever spent time with Merlin as friends; they were always servant and master and Arthur constantly reminded Merlin of that whenever he felt that his best friend had over stepped the mark. Merlin looked at the crown prince with one eyebrow raised, "Ok so maybe I don't but I'll try to make you feel like you can just be Merlin around me."

"It's not the same." Said Merlin as he looked out at the lake again.

"Why not?" Arthur persisted, determined to find out once and for all what his best friend was hiding, even though he realised this was probably not the best time. "Why can't you tell me what you told her? You've known me longer than you knew Freya. You drank poison for me and I risked my life to find the cure for you. Why is it not the same?"

Merlin finally snapped, and the flames from the boat suddenly rose higher. "Because Arthur I never had to hide my soul from Freya I never had to hide the very thing that keeps me going when I'm tired and I still have loads of chores to do for you. I never hid from Freya, in fact it was one of the first things I told her. With me Freya never hid who she was either, she tried to tell me the truth but I ignored her. We were just two happy people who fitted perfectly together. With you I have to push just to find anything out, the first time I met you, you threw me in jail."

"Merlin tell me, what is it that you hide from me but didn't from Freya?"

"Who I really am. Arthur. She knew my very soul and didn't hate me for it, she would laugh when I got things wrong and when I got them right her eyes would light up in wonder. I tried to make her a strawberry but I made her a red flower instead, it was the first time I heard her laugh and it was the most beautiful thing I will ever hear. If I even tried it with your knowing I'd be on the executioner block."

"Merlin please" Arthur begged although he thought he knew what his friend was saying.

"Go back to Camelot and to your people Arthur Pendragon and I'll go back to mine. We don't belong to the same world, where you live your father kills anyone who has magic. You've already told me that you agree with your father and anyone who uses magic is evil. Your father says I'm your greatest ally in the fight against magic. I've protected you and killed for you time and time again, and when I thought I'd found someone to spend the rest of my life with she dies. And I have given up Arthur, I have given up and fighting and staying hidden. So you and your father can do whatever you want. You can test on me to find out why I was born like this because with Freya it was a gift. Now, now it's just a curse"

At some point during his monologue he had stood up, now he sat down again out of energy and ready to sleep forever.

He put out his arms with his wrist placed together and bound them with magic, making a rope out of grass.

Arthur stared at him, and watched in horror as the grass made itself into a rope and tied his best friend up. His best friend whose eyes where gold.

He stood up and paced for a bit before sitting down again.

"You're a sorcerer?"

"I was born with the curse of being able to use magic instinctively."

"Like a druid?"

"No, they have the curse, but they can choose to learn and to practice it."

"You feel like you're cursed?"

"Well everyone else hates magic; I can't walk down the street showing who I really am for fear of death. I really don't care anymore Arthur, so shout at me and run your sword through me. You can make a point with me and put my in the street in a cage with no food or water and have the people watch me starve to death. I really don't care anymore."

"Have you always practiced magic?"

"Arthur I was born with it, I've been moving things with my mind and slowing time since before I could talk."

"Last year then?"

"Ha Ha"

Arthur sat next to his friend and looked at the burning pyre before speaking again "I don't know Merlin. All my life I've been told magic is evil and then my best friend can use it and all he does with it is his chores and saving my life. What am I supposed to believe?"

"I would never hurt you Arthur I swear, without magic I'm a nobody. I probably wouldn't have lived as long as I have and I certainly wouldn't have come to Camelot."

"How many times have you saved me?" Arthur asked not sure if he wanted to know how much debt he owed to his best friend

"Well, there was the witch Mary Collins – I slowed time to get to the dagger in time. Valient – I made the snakes come alive. I killed the Avank. When you went to get the antidote for the poison I took I sent the light to guide you. Killed the Griffin. Err Killed Edwin and released the hold his magic had over your father. Saved your life when Sophia wanted to trade your life so she could have an immortal one – oh and I covered for you every time before that as well remember. Err, gave your father the sword to kill the black night, I had that enchanted and made especially for you, you'll have to go retrieve it one day. Made the wind in Ealdor, stopped some of the assassins who wanted to kill your father. Went to trade my life for yours but ended up killing Nimueh – that was when the questing beast bit you. Killed the boar Cedric took the credit for, killed Sigan, made sure you could kill the assassin in the jousting tournament. Um… I think those are all the big ones. Oh and I killed the questing beast – I had forgotten that."

Arthur just looked at him, "You've done all of that?"

"Um, yeah. I may have saved a few other people as well – like Gwen, her father, Morgana, Gaius, the people of Camelot. But those are the main times I've saved your life. I've done it a few times when you where hunting, I've caused some 'accidents' which means people couldn't kill you."

Arthur just gaped at him. "You've defiantly made up my mind, break that rope now."

Merlin did so but was confused "Why?"

"Because Merlin, I'm not letting my guardian angel die just because of the method he uses to save my life. I don't want to die."

"Oh" Merlin couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed

"Besides," Arthur continued "I've got quite found of you."

"Thanks Arthur." Merlin looked at the crown prince with thanks radiating from his eyes.

The prince smiled then said. "I really am sorry about Freya."

"I know. You were just doing your duty."

"Would you really have left?"

Merlin just looked at him, "Sorry silly question. I know if I had the chance to run with Gwen I would. I can't say I know how you feel, as you pointed out. No one knows exactly how you feel. But… you can have one evening off a week to come here if you want. I'll come with you." Arthur said trying to make up for how he had treated the warlock.

"Thank you Arthur" Merlin stared out at the fire again knowing that he could never meet someone as brilliant as Freya ever again.

Arthur stood up and went to get the horses allowing Merlin sometime alone.

When he came back Merlin was in the same position and Arthur spoke quietly to remind him that they had to go. "Does it still feel like a curse?"

The magic user looked from the lake to his friend who was holding the horses and gave a proper smile. "No, not anymore. It feels like a gift again."

(*_*) (*_*) (*_*) (*_*) (*_*) (*_*)

The rode back in silence until they could see the castle when Arthur stopped and said "I know that you will still have to hide who you are. But you don't need to hide it around me. And one day Merlin. When I'm King you can fly around the castle if you want, you'll never need to hide your gift ever again. At the moment you are just waiting, but I promise you. One day people will come to learn from you and you will be loved for what you can do."

"I shall hold you to that promise Arthur."

"I want you to. Hit me if I say something about all magic being bad again – just not in front of the king." They grinned before Arthur abruptly changed the subject, "Come on I'll race you back home."

He galloped away and Merlin rode after him shouting "Not fair, your horse is quicker."

They slowed down at the gates and laughed with each other as they both put their horses away. Merlin looked at the blonde haired prince and couldn't help but smile.

Before he had Freya to live for but now, now he had a promise and a happy future. He could put up with hiding just for that.

(*_*) (*_*) (*_*) The End (*_*) (*_*) (*_*)

A/N: Well what do you think. I'm never sure about my endings they always seem slightly 'puke' to me and sickly sweet. But this one is OK if a bit rushed.

Don't forget to review.

Happy-reader007


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